zilah’s last day at IB. “attached” to AP until end of this month.
at least that’s what they said. hopefully she’ll return by december.
it didn’t feel very much initially except that it all came rather suddenly.
and to be thinking that she’d probably never return by december,
and we’ll go through december without her,
plus probably today’s really the last time i’m gonna work with her,
play with her,
before i tender my resignation next year…
it does really sadden me a little.
like…”that’s it”?
that thought made me feel a little bit more. even feel like tearing.
cos she was the one who taught me a lot since day 1.
the manager who made me feel at ease, and called me a friend.
now she’s more than a friend, a colleague, even a big sister.
i saw her heart for other colleagues, treating them like her own younger siblings,
and i liked that.
perhaps thankfully i’m not too attached to feel a lot yet.
or maybe i’m just too numb about so many things to feel something.
–
i’ve been feeling very edgy nowadays.
guess too many things are enmeshed in my mind at this moment of life.
sometimes i hope i die soon, so i can stop wondering and thinking.
and for my dear buddy…
i don’t think i wanna carry on like this anymore.
guess I AM THE PROBLEM.
i seriously think so. and i want out.
life won’t be any better or worse (i guess) with or without
close people around me.
afterall, we do go through life alone most times.
isn’t it?
