sometimes self-discovery is the scariest thing to do.
to realise how weak you are, how in need you are,
how not sufficient you are…
it can cause you to begin hating yourself,
even to run away from self.
2009 ended badly for me.
2010 started equally badly.
i lost many things, i gave up many things.
just a side note:
i realised nowadays the sun rises later than usual.
it remains dark at 7am.
what’s wrong?
one can never be too dependent on peers.
i know that full well,
but i always choose to give in.
sometimes i know i should learn to take charge,
but i always choose to give in.
blame it on my loyalty, or stupidity.
take your pick.
i am looking forward to the 31st – my last day.
and then it’ll probably be a start of life again.
yet i’m also feeling very afraid as the day draws nearer…
i’m really at a lost.
maybe this is because i’ve lost too many things.
i have lost myself.
